Harry Potter's Special Invisibility Cloak
by Truth Blocker
Summary: This story follows Harry Potter through the years of his early childhood. He lives at an Inn that is in a very awful condition, and has to fend for himself, with a litle help from Dumbledore, of course. Find out what happens to him!
1. Age: Birth

Harry Potter and the Invisibility Cloak

Age: Birth

Harry Potter is a national symbol of honesty, pride, love and care, and finally, kindness. But I'm about to change all that! I have re-done Harry's life. I'll start from the beginning. Harry was born in a Utah trailer park. When he was visiting his uncle, his mother was killed by a drunk truck driver, and James Potter was killed by their vicious, ferocious Poodle, Bubba Charlie. Harry was sent to a rodeo orphanage to grow up and work on forever. But something was about to change.

Review for Age: 1

-TB 


	2. Age: 1

Harry Potter and The Invisibility Cloak

Age: 1

After Harry went to the Rodeo Orphanage, he was put on a train to TX. But a gust of wind blew the train over, and he was the only one not killed out of the 600 people on the train. He did suffer brain damage, though, which led to him getting amnesia later in his life and Down-Syndrome, sadly.

Age: 2 Next 


	3. Age: 2

Harry Potter and the Invisibility Cloak

Age: 2 -  
After the train wreck, the ambulances came and took damaged Harry to the hospital. There, intern doctors operated on his brain!! That didn't fix it at all. They diagnosed him with Down Syndrome, and gave him to Dumbledore to care of. Dumbledore then placed Harry in a inn, where the bartender and many rough customers gave him an ear lashing every night, exposing him to things that he wasn't supposed to know about until he was 21. 


	4. Age: 3

Harry Potter and the Invisibility Cloak 

Age: 3 -  
At the inn, Harry Potter the Retard was subjected to many issues involving drugs, money, and shootings. This did not go well with him, or Dumbledore. He was appalled and saddened at the lack of attention and care Harry got. The innkeeper just gave him bread and water, and sat him in a room for the day!  
Harry Potter was magical, but he didn't know it yet. Dumbledore, on his visits to Harry, kept trying to tell him that he was a wizard, since Harry had strangely been moving things around, like the dancer that sat in the "bar" below. Although he didn't know it, his magical life was about to change for the better.


	5. Age: 4

Harry Potter and the Invisibility Cloak 

Age: 4 -

Thankfully, Dumbledore had a plan for Harry. That Christmas, Harry got a invisibility cloak to "have fun in and suddenly escape situations when necessary." Dumbledore wrote. Harry thought that this was an amusing idea, so one day he went up to the innkeeper. "What do you want now, you frickin' life sucker retard?" The barkeeper said. Harry, angry as he was in his frail little body, decided to not do anything yet to the innkeeper. "Iugh wanaa get bready!" Harry said. The enraged innkeeper slapped Harry across the face, somehow removing 10 percent of his Down Syndrome. His ability to recognize speech clearly was returned to him by the innkeeper's slap. Too happy to use his original plan (kick the innkeeper in the balls and run away with the cloak), Harry started to run upstairs, tripped on a loose board, and fell flat on his face, flanked by evil laughs.


	6. Age: 5

Harry Potter and the Invisibility Cloak

* * *

Age: 5 

Harry Potter awoke a mess, with blood all around his nose and shirt. It was nighttime, and on his birthday, too! Apparently the inhabitants of the inn had walked around him and just gone to sleep. They were so evil! Harry thought. Harry groggily and shakily walked to his room, wanting to be with Dumbledore more than anything else. As soon as he unlocked his door, though, he immediately shoved that thought to the back of his head when he saw a brand new, squeaky clean, shiny GETTING YOUR RETARD TO FLY BROOM(WITH TRAINING STABILIZATION INCLUDED)! He cried out in joy, and immediately fell to the ground, convulsing. An epilectic seizure had "seized" the moment again. Harry thought that the world would end, he was in so much pain. Finally, the pain ended, and he got up very carefully. He finally got back to the happy time when he saw his training broom again. He grabbed the broom, and immediately mounted it. He pushed the "ON" button, and let the tutorial guide him through flying a broom.


	7. Age: 6

Harry Potter and the Invisibility Cloak

* * *

Age: 6

_This story was written by a guest author, BrokenRecord. He is a rising author, and will someday start his own stories._

* * *

Harry had slowly begun increasing his broom riding skills (you know, like not permanently paralyzing anyone who crossed his path. As the result of the numerous unprofessional leg amputations, the Inn keeper decided to down-grade Harry's daily feast. Harry would receive 1 tablespoon of water and half of 1 slice of bread. Harry could barely say his name, yet have any emotions besides HAPPY and MAD (because of the down syndrome, so this didn't affect Harry much. Then one day the Inn keeper got a female snake named Bill and put it in the Inn's makeshift lobby. He gave harry contorted looks as he saw Harry tapping loudly on the glass cage with his index finger and chanting "heshhhhhaaaaaaSIETHHHHHHH" in a low voice, during which, the snake was repeatedly attempting to sink it's fangs into Harry and be stopped by the glass boundary between them. After viewing this, the Inn keeper would take "a couple" pills. After the pills did not do their proper "function", the Inn keeper would lock himself up in his roofless room and begin slitting his wrists. Some would say he was emo. I would agree with them. Harry did, too, as he used his "MAGICAL X-RAY VISION GLASSES" he got in a Burger King kids meal (when he was lucky enough to go there, much less, get a kid's meal). Anyway, as Harry's interest in Bill the snake increased, he let it out of the glass age one day and told him, in Parseltongue, of course, to eat a baby.


	8. Age: 7

Harry Potter and the Invisibility Cloak

Age: 7

_This chapter was also written by the recurring guest author, BrokenRecord. BrokenRecord wrote "Harry Potter and the Spork" and is a rising author, and will someday write a__lot of his own stories._

* * *

Harry asked Bill the snake, in Parseltongue, to eat a baby. The fact that Harry knew and spoke Parseltongue encouraged Bill to obey. And she did. The first unsuspecting infant Bill saw, she flew on the ground over to the baby and bit the mother in her ankle, leaving the baby unprotected and the protector of the baby in shock. Bill looked back at Harry, who was sticking up two little thumbs and giving her an approving expression, and continued hunting the innocent baby. Bill figured that she couldn't eat the baby all at once, and that she would have to bite off body parts one at a time to eat the baby. Bill slithered up to the baby, now lying on the ground. Suddenly, a pointy shovel the maid was holding came down on poor Bill's head, and killing her.

"YES!!! IT IS DEAD" the maid exclaimed.

"NO!! SHE IS DEAD" Harry shouted.

Harry began to cry, and the maid began to laugh and triumph over her prized attack. All the inn inhabitants clapped graciously for the maid. But as the depressed Inn keeper descended down the stairs, everyone fell silent.

"My snake…what happened to my snake?!?" the Inn keeper demanded.

"Oh, Fred…it's _your_ snake…?" the maid asked.

"YES!! Of course it's my snake, you IDIOT!" Fred screamed.

Fred turned around quickly and stomped up the stairs. Some say that cutting noises were audible.

Harry ran over to the motionless Bill and held her in his arms.

"Oh, Bill….poor, poor Bill…" Harry moaned.

"Eww, you're touching that vicious thing? You're gonna get like rabies or something!" the maid scoffed.

"Sh-she was my f-friend…" Harry whimpered accusingly. "and _you_ killed her!"

Harry dropped Bill's body and stood up.

"Why did you kill Bill?" Harry asked.

"Hey…isn't that a movie, or something..?" the maid asked lazily.

"What is a 'movie'?" Harry asked.

"Oh, never mind." The maid answered.

As Harry sat back down, he saw Dumbledore walk into the lobby of the inn. Harry jumped up, and happily ran over to hug him.

"Oh, Dumbledore! They killed Bill!" Harry announced.

"Isn't that a movie?" Dumbledore asked.

"UGHH!" Harry grunted, and ran to his small room, grabbing Bill's body on the way.

_Darn it, that was a perfect moment to tell him,_ thought Dumbledore. _Will little Harry ever know the truth?_


	9. Age: 8

Harry Potter and the Invisibility Cloak

Age: 8

_Written by: __BrokenRecord_

* * *

Harry lay on his small back, on top of his irrationally small "bed", in this case, meaning two blankets gathered together to pad Harry's body at least a _tiny_ bit from the concrete floor of his room, and looked up at the worn, tattered ceiling with a remarkable amount of large, brown coffee stains. He was still mad at the Inn's maid for killing poor, innocent Bill, and also at Dumbledore for implying that he actually knew what this so-called 'movie' was. Dumbledore had _actually_ had the nerve to ask him, _Harry Potter, _if "killing Bill" was one of these 'movies' everyone speaks of. How insulting! Harry _had _to get Dumbledore back somehow. Harry had to do something that really _hurt._

_ Maybe I will stop giving Dumbledore free back massages late at night...yeah, that's what I'll do! _Harry thought.

Harry's thoughts were suddenly and rudely interrupted by a sharp rapping on the door of his smelly room. Harry was currently _not_ in a very good mood, and didn't really want visitors at that moment.

"OK, I'm coming," Harry's high voice yelled in the direction of the door.

Harry stomped over to the heavily dented door and stood up on the stool, in order to take a glance through the high-up peephole. Standing in the doorway, tall and thin, was none other than Mr. Dumbledore. Harry let out a short grumble, but reluctantly opened the door to him.

"Hello, Harry. I came for my evening deep-tissue back massage!" Dumbledore said, a _little _too happily.

"Actually, I-I'm not going to give you a wonderful, deep-tissue back massage tonight, because of what you said to me yesterday." Harry answered promptly.

Then Harry slammed the beaten up door in Dumbledore's face.

"That felt good..." Harry said out loud.

"Not as good as my deep-tissue back massage would feel!!" Dumbledore's muffled voice accused.

"Oh, shut up, Mr. Dumbledore." Harry said loudly. "No one asked _you _to talk!"

_ Oh, dear, _thought Dumbledore._ How can we...if he hates me? I wonder what little Harry is thinking right now..._

Harry walked back slowly, but heavily over to his small pile of dirty blankets, which were all filled with holes.

_ I wonder what Mr. Dumbledore is thinking right now,_ Harry thought. _He probably hates me for hating him. I don't really blame him._


	10. Age: 9

Harry Potter and the Invisibility Cloak

Age: 9

_Hello, guys! I'm back and in action! My guest author kind of took over there, but now I'm back to write._

Dumbledore walked down the narrow path that led to his house. All of his past memories came flooding back to him as soon as he got over his salivation for Harry. He got choked up when he remembered his teenage love life with the male gender. A tender area Harry was about to enter...

Harry sat sulking in the bar, drinking his favorite Scotch. His invisibility cloak was on, so no one would see him and think that he was a maniac for drinking alcohol. Man, was it tasty! _I wish Dumbledore had introduced this to me when I was 8._ Harry thought. _It's SO good! _Finally, after finishing his 3rd cup, Harry set out on his fateful journey which would leave him confused, sad, and angry with Dumbledore. As he was just to Dumbledore's house, Harry had second thoughts about giving Dumbledore his deep tissue back massage that he deserved. There was some uneasiness in his head, but he quickly wiped it away, for here came Dumbledore-In a white bathrobe that was showing a little too much of his hairy legs. "Welcome Harry, to my comfortable abode! I was hoping you would finally come, and now you have! I sensed you with the magical sense that I have (clearly, Dumbledore is in MAJOR perverted mode right now)"

"Well, let's go RIGHT NOW into my house!"

Dumbledore led Harry into the house, and as soon as he got in, said "Why don't you go get some hot chocolate from the kitchen, Harry! It's _quite _good, as you know, and on top of that, I have to get some things done."

He gave Harry a little shove that was a tad too hard. "OW! Ok, Mr. Dumbledore! Thanks! Golly, I have never been to a house before! It's sooo amaz..."

Harry walked off, marveling at all the different things a house had to offer: mood lights, nice music, a huge soft bed, a RAPING LITTLE CHILDREN FOR DUMMIES book, NO! Wait a minute. That is not a good thing to have in a home! _I have read this myself, and it has a whole bunch of inappropriate pictures and words in it. I would __never__ use this book, or have it in a home! _As Harry was thinking, Dumbledore, who had taken stealth lessons, quietly crept up on Harry. Harry suddenly turned around to find Dumbledore, in only underwear, looking at his pants, for some strange reason. "Mr. Dumbledore, why are you in your underwear? Did you spill hot chocolate on your robe? Was it hot? Do you want me to massage you for that?"

Dumbledore didn't really pay any attention to this whole spiel that Harry was launching into; he just hurriedly grabbed the bottle of Scotch and handed it to Harry. "Drink up, Harry! We have a loooong night to go!"

After the first bottle was finished, Dumbledore decided that it was enough, and carried the now passed out Harry to his bedroom. There, in the middle of a heavy raping session, Harry woke up. Instinctively, he hugged Dumbledore, who interpreted this differently, and started a whole new "attack" on Harry. Harry just decided to go back to sleep, when suddenly he realized that he was in a bed-_This is not so bad_. Harry thought. But the wrong thing was that Dumbledore was on top of him-and that he was facing the pillow! "Ummm, Mr. Dumbledore, what are you doing?" He said.

"But Harry, I thought you wanted more!" Dumbledore said in between groans. "UHHHH. NOOOOO! Stop it! I don't want to be raped!" Harry shouted!

With this, Dumbledore promptly grabbed Harry and shoved him to the bed. "You're going to be raped, and LIKE it, Harry! Just like your mother."

Dumbledore said this with a sinister grin, followed by a laugh. Harry, still with Downs Syndrome, tried to push Dumbledore, who immediately whacked him across the face. Instantly, Harry lost another 10 of his Downs Syndrome, now getting the ability to have a clear viewpoint. Now able to see well, Harry grabbed the nearest mood lamp, and smashed it into Dumbledore's head. It wasn't hard to miss. Dumbledore cried out in pain.

"OOOOHHHH!" THAT FREAKIN HURT! Dumbledore jumped _out of _Harry, and reached into the wardrobe next to him—And—Pulled—Out—A...To Be Continued! D


	11. Age: 10

Harry Potter and the Invisibility Cloak

Age: 10

* * *

We will never get a chance to find out what Dumbledore had in that wardrobe. All we know is that Harry Potter just happened to finally know the trick of getting rid of his Down Syndrome. So he smashed his face into the bed frame spray painted with nasty pictures of people on top of each other and plunged into blackness for about 5 seconds. When he awoke, Dumbledore was running at him with this _thing_, this black shape. Harry grabbed Dumbledore when he got near, threw him out of his 2nd story window, and ran out of the house.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH," screamed Dumbledore before he hit the ground with a satisfying _thunk. _Thiswas all Harry heard before he was on Dumbledore's telly with the cops and the National Guard and the Army and the Secret Service.

"What? You've been raped? I'm sorry, this is the Department of Transportation. We can arrange for you to get a r..." Harry slammed the phone shut in frustration. He had been calling for hours and had only managed to get a hold of a high cocaine dealer and the Department of Transportation. It occurred to him that he had never used a phone before. It also freaked him out that the only people Dumbledore had in his phone book were the dealer and the DT person. So he ran. Far, far away, to a shack with sticks that spelled out "Yoga Palace" on its roof in Okinawa. There, he yoga-trained under a pregnant female yoga master named Charlie who spoke Mandarin fluently. Harry became a very talented and faithful yoga student at Yoga Palace under the drunken instruction Charlie gave him. Life was going exceptionally well for Harry; until Dumbledore reared his ugly face again. This time, his face was truly ugly, no matter what your definition of ugly was. Dumbledore entered the straw door of Yoga Palace on a moving dolly, being pushed by 3 German dwarfs. Dumbledore was wearing a full-body cast with red splotches all over it. There was a big, red swastika spray-painted on his forehead covered in bandages.

"Uber slaven eeben globen Helga," Dumbledore's muffled voice said to the 3 dwarfs.

The dwarfs quickly left the shack, dropping Dumbledore dolly with a loud _bang_ and a muffled, pain-filled shriek from Dumbledore. Harry, who was still shocked from Dumbledore's arrival, ran over to the pile of bricks that Charlie had been exercising with. He threw each brick, one by one, at Dumbledore with all the might he could muster.

"AH...OH...OW...UH," Dumbledore cried out in pain; but his voice was muffled by the slamming sound of the bricks and his body cast covering his mouth.

After each brick was lying around Dumbledore's body, Harry ran over to Dumbledore's body and began _manually_ pounding bricks into Dumbledore's face. After more countless pain cries, Harry decided to sit on Dumbledore as he ate his lunch, which consisted of 3 live beetles and a cup of regurgitated tree sap. Harry got a few cockroaches if he was good.

"Jeez! I'm not an f-ing girl scout! Why do I have do eat this f-ing crap?" Harry screamed.

"It's good for ya, Bill," Charlie said from behind her 12-gauge rifle with a 2-inch TV screen implanted.

"My f-ing name isn't f-ing Bill! It's Harry!" Harry yelled as the drunken Charlie began shooting holes in the straw ceiling of Yoga Palace.

"Sure thing, Susan," Charlie mumbled.

Harry pulled a brick out of Dumbledore and threw it at Charlie. The airborne brick nailed Charlie smack in the face. She fell to the ground, onto her upright gun, which pierced through her heart. Harry could hear the football game with Florida vs. California in her chest. If the gun hadn't had large bayonet, Charlie would still be alive today. Harry, now a fugitive, ripped the gun out of the lifeless Charlie and proceeded to shoot Dumbledore with the blood-covered bullets.

"Gun, meet Dumbledore, Dumbledore, meet gun," Harry exclaimed calmly seconds before Dumbledore's leg had a hole straight through it.

Dumbledore screamed, and for the rest of his life, which turned out to be around 1 hour, sobbed uncontrollably. Harry poured lime over the limp bodies which used to belong to Dumbledore and Charlie to disintegrate them. Harry knocked over the makeshift "door" of Yoga Palace as he burst out of it. When he got outside, Harry made the decision of is lifetime; whether to drive a Hummer or an electric scooter. Obviously, Harry chose the Hummer. After a few minor crashes/explosions, Harry figured out how to maneuver the strange vehicle. As he was cruisin' the USA, he was stopped by many cops, who were in turn stopped by a flash of his gun. Harry filled up his Hummer gas-guzzler every 15 minutes by entering the gas stations with his gun, threatening to kill someone if he didn't get free gas right away. One night, after a long and hard pillaging spree, Harry was surrounded by the local police and FBI. Harry knew instinctively that he would have to use the satellite hooked-up computer in the Hummer to cause a fire in the Pentagon in order to get the FBI off his tail, and order a whole bunch of Krispy Kreme donuts and throw them off a cliff to get rid of the cops. So he hacked into the Pentagon and shorted out the Pentagon's power supply, which immediately started a fire in the storage room, where an intern and John McCain were very happy in, along with all of the Kleenex in the intern's shirt. Her parents weren't too happy. So the FBI left him to find the arsonist, and the cops all willingly jumped off of the cliff just to get their creamy chocolate doughnuts. This put Harry on the safe side...for a while.


End file.
